Funny Football News Woodward Mourinho Manchester United

I think there is a general rule for life in football. If someone comes out and ‘denies’ something you can bet your bottom dollar that it is actually true. Very true, in fact. So true that if you can bet on it, you normally should.

That’s why when Manchester United come out and deny talk of a rift between Ed Woodward and Jose Mourinho you kinda know they are fibbing. You could take the fact that Mr Ed is making frequent visits to Carrington as a sign of friendship. Maybe he takes Jose coffee, biscuits or a new magazine? Or, more likely he is gauging the feeling around the place and once learning everyone is thoroughly miserable he is putting a contingency plan into place for life after Jose. Mind you, can anyone believe that Woodward is that clued up to have a contingency?

Gareth Southgate has named his first England squad since football decided it was better off not coming home as England really isn’t a great place to be right now, what with Brexit, Piers Morgan and the long winters. But, it wasn’t the squad announcement that was the big news, oh no. It was the talk of never wearing a waistcoat again that worried everyone. Don’t do it, Gareth. People have started businesses off the back of that trend and you could make people homeless.

The Champions League chat is all around how United will meet Ronaldo, how City have got it easy this time and how Tottenham might have to play their games on the beach. Of course, I get how exciting it is to know who you are going to be playing but the real fun and games cannot start until the first whistle, so all the talk of how United are crap today and won’t get through might be completely different by the time they’ve sacked Jose, given it to Zizou and Giggsy and the Frenchman wins yet another Champions League in a row. In the same way, City’s draw might look easy today but how will it look halfway through Group F? It’s like some people never learn.

Tottenham have also requested that their Carabao Cup game against Watford can be played at Stadium MK because, hilariously, Wembley is already booked and their new gaff isn’t anywhere near ready for guests. This situation is verging on Sunday League and I love it.

I’ve just been reminded that it is Deadline Day everywhere other than England which means it will probably pass quietly as no other country is as stupid as England when it comes to doing bucketloads of last minute deals. That said, with players still allowed to leave England it might be there that there are a few private planes chartered to get some footballers to Spain, Italy, and Germany.

Ademola Lookman probably won’t be one of those as Marco Silva quite likes him, probably just to annoy Big Sam. And, all the other rumours are massively dull so I won’t bore you with them.

That’ll do for now, I will be back later with my Terrible Tips for the weekend action!