LASESARRE, SPAIN - AUGUST 5: Puma Orbita, the official match ball of LaLiga in detail prior the pre-season friendly match between Athletic Club and Real Sociedad on August 5, 2022 at Lasesarre Stadium in Barakaldo, Spain. Noxthirdxpartyxsales PUBLICATIONxNOTxINxJPN 195228971

Thanks, Jose. So much for a relaxed Tuesday morning off work, trying to navigate the Christmas shoppers in Almeria.

I’ll look back on this in years to come, I am sure. Where were you when United sacked Mourinho? I was in the pants section of Primark.

And pants feels somewhat appropriate when you start to reflect on Jose’s time at Old Trafford.

So, what do we know right now?

Manchester United have sacked Jose Mourinho after their worst start in 28 years.

According to official sources, Mourinho will ‘not be paid more than £15m’ for getting fired. Talk about a healthy Christmas bonus. I am not very good at my job, yet sadly I don’t think I am going to get fired and equally sadly I don’t think I’ll get £15 to do one, let alone £15m.

It has also been suggested that the club have grown tired of watching a team sent out that does not adhere to the strict club principles (no, not the desire to commercialise everything and make as much money as possible) of playing attractive, attacking football. Really, it’s taken the best part of three years to realise this? And, had the board not watched any of the recent versions of Jose’s football? It’s not exactly been what Ruud Gullit would have called ‘sexy football’ for a while now.

This is the third time in a row Jose has been sacked straight after a defeat to Jurgen Klopp, randomly. Suddenly, I like Klopp just that little bit more.

Michael Carrick will be the interim caretaker manager for the next 48 hours, which barely seems worth telling the public about. Basically, he’s taking training tomorrow before the club announce who the actual caretaker gaffer is going to be and that person will not be from within the Carrington walls.

Naturally, the chat is around who might be (a) the caretaker manager and (b) the long-term successor.

I’m going to gamble on the fact that someone, somewhere in the Old Trafford boardroom has suddenly found some common sense and suggest that the reason United are going to appoint someone until the end of the season is that they are going to go all in on Mauricio Pochettino in the summer.

Hell, they could even tie that up soon, announce it and watch Spurs fold in their Champions League bid – possibly even opening up a slot for a rejuvenated United to slip into. Stranger things have happened.

So, we will put the permanent guy to one side. Let’s think about the short-term options.

Sir Alex is looking relatively well again, but that probably isn’t going to happen. Ex-PSG and France top man Laurent Blanc is also available, but why would he want something for six months? The same would be said for Zidane, surely?

We have the obvious gag of ‘give it to Giggsy’ but please let that remain only a gag. We should also rule out a Steve Bruce and Mark Hughes dream team, I think. Ole Gunnar Solskaer, where is he at right now? Roy Keane would be fun. What about Cantona, that would be random. Carlos Queiroz, who I have no idea if he is still in charge of Iran or not, has also been linked. Let’s be honest, there are 100s of Fergie disciples currently out of work so getting someone who ‘understands the principles of Manchester United’ should not be too challenging.

Would it be something that Arsene Wenger would have to turn down if the chance came his way? How busy is Gareth Southgate really going to be between now and the UEFA Nations League semi-finals?

And, don’t forget there is that ‘King of the Jungle’ bounce that people talk about. Were United just waiting for Harry Redknapp to finish his stint on that ITV show?

Paul Pogba was immediately on to Instagram with a “caption this” post with him wearing a bit of a smirk. Whoever the caretaker is, surely his top priority is to unlock the France World Cup version of Pogba. If anyone gets Pogba playing like he can now, that has to be the final nail in Mourinho’s management coffin.

Except, it won’t be. Rumours are rife already that Inter would offer him the chance to do what he did at Chelsea and return a hero, topple the bad guys of Juventus and then self-combust once again. Christ, even Real Madrid are going to be looking for a new manager in the summer.

Either way, another one bites the dust. Who on earth is left to rip it out of on a weekly basis now?