Funny Football News Premier League

Who has that Friday feeling then? It’s nearly the weekend, the pressers will be completed today and at least one manager is going to say something daft. You can almost smell the Premier League grass as the third weekend is nearly upon us. Third weekend? Already? Blimey. Jose’s departure will be on us before we know it.

One team that really does not have a Friday feeling is Burnley. They very much have a “we are going out of the Europa League” feeling having been turned over 3-1 by Olympiakos in Greece last night. Ben Gibson managed to get sent off meaning that Sean Dyche’s boys could well be staging their own Greek tragedy at Turf Moor next weekend. Just imagine, all that effort to get into Europe and then leaving without much of an impact. We’ll be writing about this in 20 years time when people cannot believe Burnley were anything more than a solid League One club.

Do you remember a time when a player like Harry Kane would almost walk to Spain if there was a chance of playing for a Real Madrid or a Barcelona? Not anymore, if you believe the chat. Harry apparently said NON to Real in the summer which is, frankly, as surprisingĀ as them sounding him out in the first place. And it wasn’t just Harry, they say. Mo Salah also looked the other way as Real tried to make flirty eye contact in Russia. What is happening in the world if Real Madrid cannot get exactly what they want when they want?

Another thing Real Madrid really want is to get shot of Keylor Navas, something they’ve been trying to do for about four seasons. Manchester City, having learned nothing from the Claudio Bravo experiment, are looking to have another go but it’s going to be a hard sell suggesting a seat outside in Manchester mid-December is going to be better than a seat outside in Madrid in mid-December.

Another day, another “Anthony Martial could be leaving United” bit of chat – yes, Martial could be leaving United and Sevilla are the latest club to be randomly generated as his potential destination. Another player that seems to be always leaving his current employer but will most likely go nowhere is Tottenham Hotspur’s Toby Alderweireld who has caught the eye of PSG. This cannot be true as in the very same sentence it is suggested PSG also want Danny Rose. To do what exactly? It certainly cannot be to play left-back.

West Ham United have been down the local bakers and collected a freshly made humble pie and are in the process of having it couriered to James Collins. In a recent recruitment meeting it was suggested that the Hammers could really do with a passionate, experienced, Premier League hardened central defender as there didn’t appear to be any in the squad. I wonder why. Just don’t email him, folks. Actually, do. That would be awesome.

Unai Emery has told his Arsenal midfielder Mesut Ozil to accept the fact he is going to be public enemy number one in Germany which, history suggests, he does have some stiff competition for. Ozil retired from the international team citing racism as one of the reasons. Emery also went on to say that Ozil is part of the Arsenal family, whatever that means. Arsenal are the least mafia sounding club in the Premier League.