Funny Football News Premier League Wilshere Injured

Gareth Southgate may have written off Troy Deeney’s chances of playing for England but what about bloody Glenn Murray?

The Brighton striker scored yet again last night, this time, rescuing a point for his team at St Mary’s in some kind of South Coast derby against Southampton.

As is always the way, the fixture that looks rubbish and gets bumped to the dreaded Monday Night Football slot on Sky proved to be good value for money. Had Spurs and Liverpool been put there, we could have guaranteed a 0-0 stalemate, for sure.

But Murray just keeps on scoring and Southampton, having been 2-0 up, will be fuming that Pierre-Emile Hojbjerg’s absolute thunder-bastard will be lost in the annals of time as a result.

But hey, at least it looks like Mark Hughes won’t be the first manager to lose his job this season as mid-table mediocrity seems to be well within the Saints’ grasp this season.

Here’s a bit of shocking football news. Jack Wilshere is OUT INJURED.

Just let that settle in as I am sure you’ve needed to find a chair and sit down. OK, now?

Jack Wilshere has been at West Ham for what, five games? And now he faces six weeks out after ankle surgery. And, better still, without him, West Ham won for the first time at the weekend. In what was almost a bit of common sense over the summer, the board only wanted to give Wilshere a one-year deal. Pellegrini demanded that was trebled, and so it was. Genius.

Jurgen Klopp claims he would not swap his front three for that of PSG’s – Sadio Mane, Roberto Firmino and Mo Salah >>> Edinson Cavani, Neymar and Kylian Mbappe, according to Jurgey lad. I can kinda see where he is coming from but I do have a sneaky suspicion that Klopp might just be talking a good game. Still, we will find out tonight, no doubt, as PSG mania will swoop into Anfield. Just imagine if Liverpool actually won this match, the hype boys, the HYPE.

Kieran Trippier and Toby Alderweireld have been bombed out of Tottenham‘s squad for tonight’s trip to the San Siro, where they face Inter in the Champions League. Considering Spurs are already without Hugo Lloris, Moussa Dembele, Dele Alli and Harry Kane (though he will be there in body, just not in actual physical playing football spirit) this is a bold move from the Poch. We are told it is a ‘technical decision,’ whatever that means.

Raheem Sterling and Manchester City are still at loggerheads over a new contract. Peppy G wants the England forward to get a new deal but Sterling and his agent feel that City are not putting enough wonga on the table. Sterling would like £220k a week, a £50k rise on his current deal which, when you consider what other players are earning currently, probably is a reasonable request. Imagine if he ran his contract down, we might get all mid-90s and have a superstar available on a Bosman. You remember Bosmans, right?

Eric Bailly is sick of life on the naughty step and wants to leave Manchester United in the summer. This revelation has pricked the ears of both Tottenham and Arsenal, who feel that a bit of TLC and man-management would mean they could nab themselves an absolute bargain.

I’m not sure if that five-year contract ever got offered or, indeed, signed by Anthony Martial, but rumours of him still being shoved towards the nearest Old Trafford exit by an unknown Portuguese man are rife. Inter could well be a potential destination (yawn) especially if United can strike a deal that involves Croatian World Cup star Ivan Perisic (yawn).

Blimey, more United chat? Juventus reckon Paul Pogba teaming up with Cristiano Ronaldo would be pretty damn sexy and want to offer Man United something that is a little bit like £160m. It’s not actually £160m in readies, but a little bit of cash, plus a lot of Paolo Dybala. Pogba’s replacement at Old Trafford would not just be Dybala, oh no. That would be far too simple. Instead, Jose Mourinho wants to take Mesut Ozil north, play him for ten minutes and then realise that Ozil isn’t a massive fan of tracking back and doing that defending stuff Mourinho is such a fan of.

Incredibly, five or six non-catastrophic performances at Chelsea for David Luiz equals a new two-year deal on the table. My word, can these people not take things a season at a time?

Finally today, Lyon midfield duo Lucas Tousart and Tanguy Ndombele have an extra incentive to do well at the Etihad this week in the Champions League as, apparently, Pep is a bit of a fan and if the price is right, he’d like to see what they look like in light blue.