Funny Football News Premier League VAR Chelsea

Dear reader, can you believe there are still people in the world that think VAR is a bad thing? I know, right? They obviously don’t include Cardiff City manager Neil Warnock. We’ll come on to how exactly some more refereeing idiocy cost Cardiff at least a point against Chelsea in a bit after we’ve mocked the life out of all the other Premier League news.

Fair play to Manchester City, they didn’t need any help from the officials to see off certain-to-be-relegated Fulham at Craven Cottage. None at all. They got enough from the Fulham players who delightfully assisted both City goals in their 2-0 win. All that creativity in Peppy G’s side and it was two Fulham defenders who started both moves which ended with the ball in the home side’s net.

Do you remember when everyone was getting very, very excited by a young English talent called Jack Wilshere? Well, as of today, Andy Robertson – a Scottish left-back – has as many assists as Jack. Let that sink in for a moment. A left-back has created as many goals as ‘the best English midfielder of his generation’. I think it is fair to say Wilshere’s career didn’t go as we all hoped.

Spurs might have a very nice looking stadium to play in as of Wednesday, but they are still bobbins against the proper teams. No matter how lovely the shopping experience is at the new White Hart Lane, it doesn’t change the fact that Tottenham are struggling for the top four now, let alone pushing for a title.

Having done the hard work to get so far back into the match against Liverpool that it might have been the moment that changed the race for the title completely, the way they conceded the late winner could not have been more Spurs-like if they’d actually intended to do the most Spursy thing they could think of.

Mo Salah’s ‘header at goal’ was as tame as anything else he’d managed all day but Tottenham’s captain Hugo Lloris contrived to let the ball fall from his fingers, on to the shins of Toby Alderweireld and over the line to give Liverpool three points.

Still, the coffee will be lovely at the new gaff.

This is a title-race that seems to be going the distance and if we can have more hilarity like that along the way, I’ll be happy.

Ole Solskjaer has clearly passed his driving test for the Old Trafford bus as he has officially been announced at the wheel for the next three seasons. Credit to Solskjaer, he has had quite the record since being at Manchester United on a caretaker business and it was enough to convince Mr Ed that they’d miss Ole’s smiles if they let him go.

United were actually pretty rubbish against Watford and hit Javi Gracia’s men on the break twice for their goals. What’s that? United played on the counter and defended pretty badly? I know, and Solskjaer is showing you can get away with it if you manage the PR side of things properly.

Watford put far more effort in ahead of their FA Cup semi-final against Wolves than their Wembley opponents managed against Burnley. Was there a more nailed on home win than Sean Dyche’s side picking up three points this weekend? I mean, Wolves would have struggled to have got themselves up for an away match against a team in a relegation scrap at the best of times, but when there is a FA Cup semi on the horizon? Rest those legs, chaps.

Sean Dyche has now managed Burnley 300 times and he started life at Turf Moor with a 2-0 win against Wolves. On Saturday, they beat Wolves 2-0. Football, eh? Full of this utterly pointless bookends.

And so to Wales, where Cesar Azpilicueta was so far offside he was almost back on English soil. But hey, don’t expect the officials to notice that with seven minutes left on the clock and a valuable three points in the hands of Cardiff, right?

You could say that that goal wasn’t the goal that meant Cardiff lost, but I disagree. Having been quite visibly robbed by a bunch of crooks (and no, I don’t mean Chelsea for once), Cardiff understandably switched off and Ruben Loftus-Cheek punished them with a winning goal.

And, Chelsea didn’t exactly deserve anything from the game having put in a performance that could be classed as the epitome of Sarriball – and by definition that is lots of the ball whilst doing nothing with it and Callum Hudson-Odoi on the bench.

It’s not just people like me noticing it, the Chelsea fans made it pretty clear how they felt during the match, politely requesting that their manager considers handing in his resignation ASAP.

It all led Neil Warnock to ponder whether it was ‘payback’ for him for everything that has happened over the years. Actually, Neil. Now you mention it, it could well be.

He does have a point though; as good as the Premier League is, the officials are at least twice as bad.

Some people are suggesting that West Ham’s Declan Rice might be the new Bobby Moore. And by that, I can only presume they mean pretty talented playing in a club side that is destined to continuously under-achieve.

In the ‘wannabe 7th place’ derby, Everton beat their hosts 2-0 and new Ireland captain Seamus Coleman started what has to become a new tradition every single time an Irish player plays against Rice from hereon in. Coleman nutmegged Rice to the joy of everyone who voted the midfielder Ireland’s young player of the year just days before he made his England debut.

Crystal Palace have now won the match that has relegated teams from the Premier League three seasons in a row and, better still, left-back Patrick van Aarnholt has scored the decisive goal in each of those matches. PVA was at it again against Huddersfield who were finally put out of their misery like the terminally ill household pet.

The Terriers have managed to get themselves out of the top-flight in joint-record quick time with six whole matches remaining. They share that dubious honour with Derby County. Oh, and by top-flight I mean in the sport that Sky invented – not before 1992.

Ralph Hasenhuttl has banned WiFi from the team hotels whenever his Southampton team are on the road. He wants to stop the players from gaming which, and he is right on this one, is thought to be the next big addiction to hit professional footballers.

And, it worked as the Saints marched past Brighton and moved further clear of the relegation zone whilst making their hosts think back to 1983, the season they got to a FA Cup semi-final (which they won) and got relegated. At least Brighton won’t be winning their FA Cup semi this season which is against City.

Brendan Rodgers is doing alright at Leicester. Everyone expected him to get more goals out of Jamie Vardy than ‘Whispering Claude’ managed but Brentan has even turned Wes Morgan into a goal machine. Now that is management. Leicester beat Bournemouth 2-0.