LASESARRE, SPAIN - AUGUST 5: Puma Orbita, the official match ball of LaLiga in detail prior the pre-season friendly match between Athletic Club and Real Sociedad on August 5, 2022 at Lasesarre Stadium in Barakaldo, Spain. Noxthirdxpartyxsales PUBLICATIONxNOTxINxJPN 195228971

Yeah, I know. I wasn’t here yesterday. Don’t pretend you noticed or missed me, I am not buying it. My reason for absence? I overslept having been to the Emirates to watch the snoozefest that was Arsenal and Brentford in the Carabao Cup. I fell asleep at half-time and didn’t wake up until the cleaners kicked me at lunchtime yesterday. And to think I could have gone to watch West Ham stick eight past Macc.

There’s been a bit of drama since I last scribbled some rubbish down for you, and you know where the drama is at, don’t you?

That video has gone viral of Jose and Pogba having a training ground spat. The person I feel sorry for is Mason Greenwood who is an innocent bystander in the clip. Poor lad has bucketloads of talent and will probably only become a United regular if Pogba gets to keep Old Trafford in the divorce settlement.

Seriously though, can you imagine this happening in the Ferguson era? Whether Fergie was right or wrong, the player would be gone. Regardless. That said, Ferguson was top of the league most of the time and therefore could do or say anything he wanted. Mourinho doesn’t have that luxury and, frankly, is a bit of a tit.

Mini has booked a flight for sometime in November to sound out United about selling Pogba to anyone in January. Why wait until November, Mins? Mou might be gone by then and where will that leave your 20% of the transfer fee, eh? Get something in place now, my son.

Speaking of contractual matters, Eden Hazard is warming to the idea of putting his name to a piece of paper that ties him to Stamford Bridge and a lot more money for a few more years. He asked for new signings and a new manager and he got both and he is pretty happy with his lot right now. Ask him again in January though, when the honeymoon period is over and Chelsea are battling Tottenham Hotspur for 4th.

Someone who probably won’t be in a battle for 4th place is Arsenal’s Aaron Ramsey. There was a new deal on the table for Rambo but it has been whisked from under his nose as Unai Emery is starting to go off the player. It’s not as if Aaron will be short of offers, so let’s not fret too much for him.

Having seen one former Chelsea centre-back not take Aston Villa back into the Premier League, Steve Bruce fancies trying again with Gary Cahill. Steve, mate, January is a long time off still and you might not be in a job then.

With Kevin Keegan sticking the boot into the Newcastle United regime in his new book the board has actually woken up and responded. They claim that King Kev turned down the chance to sign Daniel Sturridge and Karim Benzema a decade ago. Don’t get too excited, both players would have been so young back then they’d have cost a million each which is still very, very Mike Ashley.