Oh my. Oh my, oh my, oh my.

Let’s get something clear straight away. This was not a League Cup side sent out by Jose Mourinho and Manchester United in the old Alex Ferguson sense of the word. This was not a load of youth team players and a couple of subs to guide them through it. Hell no. This was a team jam-packed full of international footballers pitching up against a team managed by one of Mourinho’s former kingpins. There is no reasonable reason for United to have lost to Derby other than the elephant in the room (and we don’t mean Fellaini). The players have jacked it in. They want Jose out.

But, of course, Frank Lampard’s Derby County knocking out the mighty Manchester United on penalties is only the sub-plot. The story most people are going with is the one surrounding, yeah you guessed it, Mourinho and Paul Pogba.

Now, it is worth remembering that Pogz is only United’s vice-captain. Actually, let us get the tense correct. Pogba was United’s vice-captain until Jose decided he wasn’t anymore, saying;

“The only truth is that I made the decision for Paul – not to be the second captain any more. It was exactly the same person who decided Paul was the second captain – myself. No fallout at all, just decisions I do not have to explain.”

So that explains it all then. Has Jose felt this threatened by a player since, er, last time and Eden Hazard? Time for the ‘once special one’ to get a grip or get out of town.

Phil Jones, who must wonder how he was woken up in the life of a pro footballer, missed the penalty that knocked United out, by the way. If you’re interested. Still, as Jose said – minority competition isn’t it. Much better to save that energy for winning the Champions League and Premier League. I know, I’m taking the mick.

It was slightly better humour over the road at City where Phil Foden inspired the League Champions to a 3-0 win at Oxford United. Foden was that assured against lower-league nobodies that the name Andres Iniesta started to get mentioned in the same breath. Do me a favour. They were playing Oxford. If Foden can (a) actually get in the proper City team and (b) lead them to victory over someone like Liverpool, then we can talk Iniesta but until then he is, at best, the next Joe Cole. Give the kid a break.

Jurgen Klopp is warning Liverpool to take the Carabao Cup ‘seriously’ before, no doubt, contradicting himself completely and picking Dejan Lovren.

The Poch is nothing if he is not an optimist. He reckons Spurs might be in their new ground by Christmas though, in fairness, he didn’t say which one.