Funny Football News International Jose Sterling

Yikes, you can tell it’s an international break already. The signs are clear – absolute trash being covered in the media and being passed off as ‘news’.

Of course, you don’t get any of that rubbish here. We just take the stuff that lot are pushing and give you our thoughts on it. Journalism this isn’t, I can assure you.

The ‘story’ that hammered home the fact that the Premier League is on holiday already? King Kloppo assuring us that Alisson will be Liverpool‘s Champions League goalkeeper. I mean, I nearly fell out of my seat when I read this headline. The shock was too much to take, the thought of a goalkeeper signed for £65m being considered first-choice for the biggest club competition in world football?

What really happens when quotes like these hit the airwaves is some journalist has asked Jurgen whether he is likely to rotate Alisson and Mignolet during the group stages to which Klopp has answered ‘no’ plus a little bit more. Desperate to get readers, the journalist’s editor has then come up with a killer headline to make it sound like anything other than the sodding obvious was said in this press call. Which, of course, it wasn’t.

Kloppo also said he was glad that Alisson had got his big mistake out of the way early in the season, as he knew it was likely to happen and now we can all move on. Except, Jurgy, I don’t think people will be moving on that quickly. You see, we all need things like that to harp on about. How many players and coaches are still judged on one thing that happened ages ago? Speaking of which, I wonder how Karius is getting on in Turkey.

Arsenal players are like ‘children’ said Alexandre Lacazette, yesterday. Actually, that is not exactly what Laca said but again I am showing how these kinds of quotes can be spun into anything you want, quite easily. The French forward really said that his Arsenal colleagues are like ‘children learning’ under new Arsenal boss Unai Emery. Well, it’s about time they learned some new tricks as the old ones were not working and I have a sneaky feeling that Petr Cech is currently sitting in the corner with his back to the class, a big D on his head, writing 100 lines of “I must learn to pass the ball out from the back”.

Mr Nice Jose Mourinho ‘dedicated’ his win at Burnley to Ed Woodward. Apparently, Jose was not looking to the sky during the match so didn’t see the plane fly over, but wanted the world to know that Ed has his backing. Hang on, there is so much wrong with this. Since when did the manager give the CEO his backing? And Jose, you picked Fellaini from the start. Of course, you spent a lot of time looking up at the sky, you had to see where the ball was, didn’t you?

Daniel Levy has admitted his frustration at Tottenham’s stadium woes, saying that delays are “disappointing, costly and frustrating”. I have a sneaky feeling the emphasis was on the word costly in that sentence.

Finally this morning, Raheem Sterling has pulled out of England duty this week with a back injury. It’s probably from all the knives that have been stabbed into it by the English media in the last few months.