Admit it, you saw it coming. Didn’t you? Oh, come on. You did.
Today’s funny football news could start nowhere other than pointing the finger-of-fun at good old Tottenham Hotspur.
Spurs went into their second leg clash with Premier League and city rivals Chelsea 1-0 up on aggregate knowing a draw would mean they’d be the team given the honour of losing to Man City in the EFL Cup Final next month.
Come on, even the most loyal of Tottenham fans saw it coming, surely? Especially when it went to penalties.
If Cesar Azpilicueta scores, you know it’s your day and it was Chelsea’s day alright.
Eden Hazard and Chelsea played as if Maurizio Sarri’s public baiting had an effect. Who’d have thought that, eh? Or maybe they were keen to impress the onlooking and allegedly unfit Gonzalo Higuain. I tell you what, if Higuain is unfit I am about to be carried out in a coffin.
Thierry Henry‘s stay at AS Monaco didn’t last long, did it? He’s done such a bad job in France that Monaco have decided to bring back Leonardo Jardim and pretend the whole Henry era never happened. I bet Cesc Fabregas is over the moon having popped down to the tax haven to help an old mate out.
Did he last less time than Gary Neville? No matter, they can work that out when they are reunited in the Sky studios next month.
For us to get a comprehensive survey completed on whether Sky pundits make rubbish managers, we just need Jamie Carragher to take over a club in Germany and see how that goes.
The FA Cup fourth round gets going tonight with a mouthwatering prospect between Arsenal and Manchester United.
Unai Emery believes United were right to sack Jose Mourinho, meaning he has firmly nailed his colours to the same mast as the rest of the world. Emery also feels there is reason to be positive around the Emirates, and I can only presume that comment isn’t linked to Hector Bellerin being out for the rest of the season and Petr Cech hanging up his gloves at the end of the season.
Ole Gunnar Solskjaer continues to be everything Mourinho was not and has put Paul Pogba’s name forward to be a future long-term captain of United.
Rafa Benitez has been crying out for signings at Newcastle and he has finally got his wish and what a signing it is. In a move that could only remind Geordie fans of the moment they brought Alan Shearer home, Newcastle have signed Lukaku!
Ah, hang on. Wrong one. It’s Romelu’s brother, Jordan. He’s a left back. He’s big, strong, quick and got a very average first touch. Must run in the family.
West Ham are still scouring the back pages to decide which of the transfer rumours they should act on. The Hammers are being linked to many Marko Arnautovic replacements, even though the Austrian striker hasn’t actually left yet. Today’s rumour is Torino’s Andrea Belotti although they’d also quite like Celta Vigo’s Maxi Gomez who they were linked to in the summer.
Man City didn’t get snubbed by Barcelona new boy Frenkie de Jong, alright? They just refused to get involved in a bidding war, OK?
That clears that up, then.