Funny Football News Crystal Palace Liverpool Roy Hodgson Angry

I tell you what, you don’t often see Roy Hodgson irate. And irate is exactly what Uncle Roy was after Liverpool left Selhurst Park last night with three points in the kit bag and a win that pleased King Kloppo due to it being “ugly.”

But, Roy. As much as I hate to break it you but it was a penalty. Big Mama Sakho dangled his foot twice and a player like Mo Salah isn’t going to not fall over it now, is he? It was a penalty all day long and even VAR, if the Premier League were not so damn arrogant as not to have it, would have awarded it.

James Milner, openly trying to make himself “undroppable” from this Liverpool team put the penalty away before the young yet rather talented Aaron Wan-Bissaka saw red for stopping another Salah Sprint (TM) to the goal. Sadio Mane scored a late second for the Reds who appear to have little intention of playing down the talk of being City’s main rivals this season. And really, who can blame them? They already look more organised at the back than Chelsea, United and, er, Arsenal and look more ruthless in attack than Tottenham Hotspur. Who would have thought buying a new goalkeeper and dropping Lovren for Joe Gomez would be such a good thing?

Loris Karius is to “end his Anfield hell” apparently. It is worth remembering that this “Anfield Hell” was entirely self-inflicted or, depending on which angle you take, inflicted by the elbow of Sergio Ramos. Karius is off to Turkey where he might get shot for Christmas.

Brighton & Hove Albion have to be careful not to get too carried away after their win over Manchester United at the weekend. New signing Leon Balogun spoke in the press yesterday saying how surprised he was at “how slow” United were and he expected the Premier League to be quicker than the Bundesliga from where he has come. Easy now, Leon. It was only United. Wait until you play a team that has a commitment to attacking.

Ruben Loftus-Cheek has been told to stay at Stamford Bridge and fight for his place in the team by Maurizio Sarri. Now, I am presuming he doesn’t actually mean fight as I am backing Ruben to take out Cesc Fabregas and Ross Barkley at the same time and, to be honest, I reckon he could have Jorginho as well. Either way, RLC is not heading out on loan for a thirteenth time and could well get a chance if he knuckles down in training.

Manchester City have a “goalkeeping crisis” on their hands which is curious as they managed to sell Joe Hart to Burnley in the window. Claudio Bravo has picked up a serious injury which, again, suggests there being far less of a crisis than if he was fit to play. This leaves Ederson as City’s only proper goalkeeper they say, which (and yes, I am labouring this joke I know) was the case before they sold Hart and Bravo got injured.

Staying with City, having been called out in public for his social media activity Benjamin Mendy appears to have cut back on his mobile phone usage and has reduced his pay-as-you-go plan to a £10 a month bundle which only gives him 1gb instead of his unlimited package that meant he could be on Instagram 24/7.

Everton have wisely concluded that they don’t need nine wingers in their squad and are going to loan Yannick Bolasie to Tony Pulis at Middlesbrough, the man who made Bolasie decent when he managed Crystal Palace. Mo Besic is also returning to the Riverside meaning Boro have a very good shout at promotion this season.

Despite only taking one good free-kick this season and doing little else, rumours are running riot that Ruben Neves could the man that Peppy G wants at City to replace Fernandinho who is now an ancient 33. He would cost £60m plus whatever Jorge Mendes wants in commission.

Liverpool are still looking to offload Divock Origi and the only team even showing a smidgen of interest is Borussia Dortmund. Liverpool want £27m, Borussia Dortmund might consider the minute they stop laughing at the fact Liverpool said £27m.

Chelsea‘s forgotten young man, Tammy Abraham, is believed to be weighing up loan moves to Aston Villa, the Netherlands or Italy. Like that is even a choice, but fair play to Tammy for being respectful enough to Steve Bruce and pretending.

And here’s two you’ll love to round today off. David Moyes is being linked the head coach job of, yes really, the USA. Honest guv. And some team in China has noticed that Rafa Benitez might not be the happiest camper in Mike Ashley’s family holiday and would like to throw a massive transfer budget his way. If that rumour grows any legs, then I will bother to find out which club it is.