From Russia With

…a nod to complete shithousery!

Day two of the FIFA World Cup 2018 has been and gone in a blink of an eye and blink must have been what David de Gea did as Ronaldo shot in Portugal’s gut-busting draw with Spain.

Yesterday’s list format went down so well I, like Fernando Hierro, shall make limited changes and hope it works out today.

#1 Don’t change anything, Fernando. Oh.

Fernando Hierro was always in a tricky position heading into Portugal against Spain. Picking up someone else’s team 48 hours before kick-off at a World Cup is a little odd, after all. If he had made no changes to the side he would have been accused of doing nothing. So, he made two – Diego Costa and Nacho coming in. Three minutes later, he might have been regretting the Nacho selection as he gave Ronaldo exactly what he wanted. That said, 20 minutes after that he will have been feeling a bit better as Diego Costa scored a beauty and smacked Pepe in the chops to boot. Early in the second half, Hierro could start thinking, “that Julen didn’t seem to rate Diego, eh?” as Costa doubled his tally. Then Nacho rifled one home and Hierro had to been wondering what all the fuss was about, managing Spain was easy. But then there is always Ronaldo. He never scores free-kicks anymore, right?

#2 William Carvalho’s tache

Isn’t it absolutely marvellous? He looks like he should have been in Rocky II in the early 1980s or something. Clearly, everyone is too scared to tell him that it looks a bit porn star.

#3 It’s been a bad week for Morocco as well, you know

Having lost the 2026 World Cup to the USA, Mexico and Canada you’d have thought Morocco’s week couldn’t get much worse. Aha, there’s that hope thing again always ready to slap you in the face. Morocco didn’t play especially well against Iran, but to lose to an injury-time own goal probably hurts even more than losing to Donald Trump.

#4 Iran’s interesting approach could break records

I hear that Iran are looking to break records at Russia 2018. They want to see how far into the tournament they can get without taking a shot at goal themselves. It is working so far, no?

#5 Piss off, Martin

ITV didn’t exactly endear themselves to me with their Christmas music and Santa’s Grotto studio on Day One but they do have one thing going for them. They don’t have to use Martin Keown as a co-commentator at any point. Nothing makes me search for an alternative TV channel quicker. I’ll even watch it in Serbian. What a clueless muppet.

#6 Oh, it’s OK if Uruguay play 4-4-2 then?

Hang on, consistency, please. I know another team that, if they’d rocked up in white and struggled to a 1-0 win over a Mo Salah-less Egypt playing 4-4-2, would have been getting a lot of knocks in the media. But no, if Uruguay do it and bastard their way to a win, it’s OK. Of course, it is. Mind you, I’m not telling Godin how to play football. He seems to have it pretty sussed all by himself. That said, Luis Suarez has clearly brought his recent Barcelona form to the tournament, without the eventual goal, mind. Even if he doesn’t score, don’t bet against Uruguay progressing purely down to their delightful trait: shithousery.