Mock the Moment

Well, why shouldn’t he? Arsene Wenger is hours away from finishing up as Arsenal manager so he took some time out to go all Mystic Meg and tell us what the future of football looks like. He might well be right, you know, and those that have their knickers in a constant twist over “how Sky ruined the beautiful game” might need to sit down.

Mystic Arsene has said that ‘a European Super League is coming’ and that it will ‘take over from the Premier League at weekends’, meaning that there would be even more Tuesday night trips to Stoke City in the future if they hadn’t got relegated of course.

Wenger has called it ‘inevitable’ because the bigger clubs (Real Madrid etc) will no longer want to share the TV revenue with smaller clubs (Arsenal etc) and the midweek audiences attending the Champions League matches are declining – so glamour matches in the primetime weekend slots are the, er, logical next steps.

To an extent, Wenger might well have a point. Having watched West Ham United play Manchester United last night (and what a game that wasn’t) I think it might be wise to hide non-event matches like that on a Thursday night permanently.

Change is coming people, mark my words.

As I’ve just mentioned, one thing that will never change is Jose Mourinho being happy to take a 0-0 away from home if it looks like his team is unlikely to score. When there’s 20 minutes on the clock and the game is there for the taking, you’ll never see Jose turn to an Anthony Martial and say, “go on lad, go and win it for us!” No, Jose sent on Eric Bailly and Ashley Young to make sure West Ham didn’t do something really weird, like score. Mark Noble and Paul Pogba’s falling out mid-match was like two people having a standup row watching a game of chess, the game was so dull.

DC United of MLS are very keen to make Wayne Rooney their star man and pay Everton $12m to take him off their hands. Rooney, however, is less keen and would like to know if Everton are actually going to bin off Big Sham before he makes any decisions. Oh, and if they do sack Allarfarce then he’d also like to know whether the new manager plans on picking him at any point. Only then will Wayne chase the American dollar because, at the end of the day, once a blue always a blue (providing they pick him and let him take penalties).

Mohammed Salah has no such worries, understandably. Mo has won pretty much every award going in England this season and picked up another two at Liverpool’s end of season bash last night. His odds for winning X-Factor (does that still exist?) and Big Brother (does that still exist too?) have been slashed, though he is not expected to win I’m a Celebrity Get Me Out Of Here (what about that one?)

Carlos Carvalhal, despite giving us plenty to enjoy at his press conferences, is set to leave Swansea City unless he conjures up a 50-goal swing or whatever is needed on Sunday. Carvalhal was brought in to save Swansea and many of us thought they might have had one eye on the Championship next season when they appointed him. This is not so, clearly – still, at least we won’t have to put up with Sky Sports News incorrectly pronouncing his name for much longer.

We always like to end with some transfer rumours, so what have we got today?

Neymar is very keen to win “big club bingo” by the time he is 32 so he needs to get cracking if he is going to get Bayern Munich, Manchester City and Real Madrid under his belt in time. It looks like Madrid might actually be his next stop, as Paris Saint-Germain have finally come to the conclusion that Neymar is actually a bit of a knob.

If he does go then PSG might follow up their interest in Fulham’s Ryan Sessegnon. Their scouts must work so hard to unearth these hidden talents.