Mock the Moment

Arsene Wenger backs Arsenal to go with a former player as board immediately take that as a sign to do the opposite

We all remember what happened when Manchester United allowed Sir Alex Ferguson to nominate his successor, don’t we? United are still paying for that final indulgence of the red-nosed ego, as Sir Alex successfully protected his legacy for another decade by setting the Red Devils up for years of hurt. The board at Arsenal would be wise to go back over the course of events around that time and, with Arsene saying who he thinks should replace him, start making plans to do the complete opposite.

Arsene reckons it would be “even better” for the club to bring in someone who played for him during his tenure, news that had Tony Adams putting on that horrible three-piece and practicing running backwards and forwards frantically. However, it is more likely that Mikael Arteta and Patrick Vieira are being considered than Tone. Actually, it is more likely Paul Merson is being considered than Tone. Poor Tone. Anyway, the bookies reckon it’s going to be Luis Enrique which could be somewhat intriguing.

Dejan Lovren believes Mohamed Salah could go on and challenge Messi and Ronaldo for the Ballon D’Or this year. Not if you keep defending like that he won’t, Dejan. Lovren said, “the way we can find him is perfect” which basically means the uncultured Croat appreciates having someone he can lump a long ball to once in a while.

Alex Oxlade-Chamberlain is understandably ‘devastated’ that he is going to miss the World Cup this summer. Alex, dear boy, it might be a blessing in disguise. I have a suspicion that those English players who don’t make the cut might be the ones who see their stock rise ahead of those that are destined to fail us once more.

The last time Rangers appointed a former general of the Liverpool midfield it was controversial yet, ultimately, successful which makes the links of Steven Gerrard to Ibrox sound less insane then they did initially. Gerrard has been coaching the Liverpool U18s this season who, by all accounts, would probably do alright in the Scottish Premiership so it might not be that big a step up for the Scouse managerial rookie. If only for the head-to-head with Brendan Rodgers, I am all for it.

Having spent the last 15 years or however long it has been putting any event possible into the stadium to pay it off, the FA are in talks to sell Wembley to the owner of Fulham FC. No, no Fulham are not leaving Craven Cottage (at least, I don’t think they are) and the deal is believed to be £600m, just £150m less than it cost to build the sodding thing. Surely, that is not a good deal? Mind you, it would be most unlike the FA to gimp something like this up so I suppose we should trust them. Shahid Khan, Fulham’s chairman, also owns one of the NFL teams so I guess we know what will happen there then.

Some transfer tittle-tattle to finish us off today. Real Madrid have spent years implementing a scouting system to uncover the hidden gems and they’ve struck gold they reckon. Top of their list is the little known Liverpool winger, Mo Salah. Surprisingly, 40 odd goals this season hasn’t led to anybody mentioning the Egyptian being rather good, so Madrid reckon they might just get there first.

Just under the underlined twice name of Salah are two other little-known prospects – a R Sterling and K de Bruyne. I tell you what, this is some system Madrid have.

Jurgen Klopp is slowly realising that he might need someone in midfield that likes to defend a bit and has heard Schalke’s Max Meyer is up on a free in the summer. Jurgen likes this idea.

In less shocking news, Jose Mourinho doesn’t see Anthony Martial in his future. I think we already knew that, didn’t we? He’ll be off then and no doubt replaced with someone ageing and over-priced. Or Ryan Sessegnon from Fulham who would absolutely mad to go there.

David Moyes has been, incredibly, linked to a bit of sensible transfer business. He is not keen to make Joe Hart’s stay at the Athletics Stadium permanent. I wonder if Moyseh worked that one out for himself?