funny football news premier league terrible tips klopp warnock

Two weeks into the season and we’re starting to see a bit more about how the teams in the Premier League may fare this year, but that certainly does not make it any easier to predict. That being said, it’s fun to give it a go, so here are my terrible tips.

Aston Villa vs Everton

Friday night lights at Villa Park to kick off the weekend, as they take on Everton, who are the only team yet to concede a goal thus far. Following their loss to Bournemouth last weekend, Jack Grealish added to his unwanted record, as he made it 20 losses in a row in the Premier League. Captain Jack will be keen to change that against the Blues, but Villa still don’t look great and with this game being the only thing I have to entertain me on Friday evening, I can almost guarantee a bore draw.

Aston Villa 0-0 Everton

Norwich vs Chelsea

Saturday’s early kick off sees the Canaries meet struggling Chelsea at Carrow Road. Frank Lampard’s Chelsea team have gained just one point from their opening two games and were perhaps lucky to get that point at home to Leicester last weekend. Norwich meanwhile have impressed against Liverpool and Newcastle respectively, with Teemu Pukki having already grabbed four goals in his debut Premier League season. Chelsea’s defence looks shaky, and I think it will be Tim Farke’s side who are best placed to win this one.

Norwich 3-1 Chelsea

Brighton vs Southampton

This game doesn’t exactly jump out at me, but for Brighton it represents an excellent opportunity to continue their impressive start against a winless Saints side. Following their unfortunate VAR-affected draw against West Ham last weekend, Graham Potter’s men will be keen to overcome the visitors in this one. Despite my earlier dismissal of Brighton’s chances in week one of terrible tips, they look as if they could surprise a few, and I expect that to remain the case against a disjointed Southampton team.

 

Brighton 2-0 Southampton

Manchester United vs Crystal Palace

This game is only going to go one way. United have impressed in two relatively tough opening fixtures, whereas Palace have looked pretty useless against Everton and Sheffield United respectively. United fans are convinced that the feel-good factor is back, whilst Palace fans will be quick to call for Roy Hodgson’s head if results continue and Wilfried Zaha continues to try and force a transfer. These, along with several other reasons, have convinced me that this will be one of the easier games I will have to predict this season.

Manchester United 0-1 Crystal Palace (Zaha, 90+3)

Sheffield United vs Leicester City

All jokes aside, I genuinely think this could be a great game between two teams who play attractive unique styles of football. The Blades have picked up four points from six in their first two games since returning to the top flight, whilst Leicester have earned two draws against tough opposition in Wolves and Chelsea. Although I really rate Leicester under Brendan Rodgers, and think they will finish comfortably top 10 this season, I think this game comes a bit too early for them. Sheffield United are on a bounce, and I think it will be some time before Premier League teams can figure out their marauding centre-backs tactic.

Sheffield United 3-2 Leicester

Watford vs West Ham

Battle of the W’s at Vicarage Road, but only one team will be leaving with the W on Saturday. That is of course unless they draw which, considering these two teams’ very underwhelming starts to the new season, is probably the most likely outcome. Both teams look pretty awful defensively, so at least they’re might be a few goals in this one, but don’t expect a classic.

Watford 2-2 West Ham

Liverpool vs Arsenal

There’s no doubt in my mind that this is the best game of the weekend on paper. Both teams have perfect records thus far, although they have come against relatively inferior opposition. The fact that Arsenal managed to win an away game suggests that they may have turned a corner following last season’s woes on the road, but the fact is, they always get spanked at Anfield. Liverpool have seemed to grind out results in their opening two games, but I expect them to turn up in full force in Saturday’s evening game.

Liverpool 4-0 Arsenal

Bournemouth vs Manchester City

City were, from a completely unbiased perspective, completely robbed of three points last weekend against Spurs. Not because of the farce that is VAR, but just in terms of general play, they should have hit Spurs for six. It is because of this that I fear for Bournemouth’s defence in this game, as although they haveshown in recent years they can compete with the best sides in the Premier League, Manchester City have often proved their nemesis when it comes to goals conceded. Pep will set his team up to attack from the first minute so he can avoid any last-minute VAR drama, and I think things could get messy for the Cherries at Dean Court.

Bournemouth 0-5 Manchester City

Tottenham vs Newcastle

I would try to be sarcastic about this game, but let’s face it, Newcastle are just awful. Norwich had far too much for the Toon last weekend, so I dread to think how the Newcastle defence will deal with Spurs’ multitude of attacking talent. Time to transfer in Harry Kane for your fantasy team folks, he probably won’t have an easier game all season.

Tottenham 6-1 Newcastle

Wolverhampton vs Burnley

I don’t think I will ever forget the result from this fixture from last season. I let my girlfriend who knows nothing about football pick my Super Six. She asked me if Burnley 2-0 Wolves was a realistic score, I said no. She changed it to a Wolves win, and lord behold, Burnley won 2-0. I’ve asked her what she thinks this time, she’s said 2-0 Burnley, so it’s almost guaranteed to happen again. In fairness, Wolves might be tired from their midweek Europa League exploits, and Ashley Barnes has started the season on fire, so don’t rule out another shock result this time round.

Wolves 0-2 Burnley