A Twitter Story

If you’ve read any of my three articles across the RDM empire so far, you would know that I am Indian and support Real Madrid. Now if you’re a sane, rational, intelligent reader, this doesn’t really mean anything much to you. If, however, you’re an unintelligent idiot with a backward mentality, you feel the urge to hurl expletives at me and say the words ‘Support Local’ to me. Hopefully, you are one of the former bunch.

A lot of the citizens of Football Twitterland, unfortunately, aren’t though. For some reason, the lads over there are overly obsessed with the phrase. Even though a high number of the accounts on football Twitter don’t support local, just throwing it around seems to have become a law.

So let’s delve deeper into the meanings behind this powerful phrase and understand its applications. ‘Support local’ basically means, well…support your local club. It is most commonly used to nullify the opinions of fans, no matter how logical and agreeable they might be, simply because they don’t support a club in their city or country. Try telling them why you don’t support local and you will be hit with a barrage of what are meant to be insults but aren’t really insulting. ‘Glory Hunter’, ‘forner’, ‘chameleon’ are some examples of these.

You see this stems from the conception that one who supports a big club and isn’t from the country that the big club plays in, they’re fucking glory hunting foreign pricks with no respect for the game and its ‘spirit.’ Funnily enough, only two types of people ever scream ‘support local’ meaninglessly. Scottish people and Tory voting teenagers that support a really shit mid-table Premier League or Championship club. More on Scottish people later though.

Oh and God forbid you ever say that you support your club through thick and thin, because then around 20 cunts will reply with “OH WHAT THIN HAS REAL MADRID EXPERIENCED, NOT WINNING THE LEAGUE FOR 2 YEARS?! HAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAH.” Apparently, that counts as humour too, as before you know it word will spread to group chats that an Indian supporting Real Madrid tweeted out something and 30 more cunts will come and pollute your mentions.

Sometimes it seems that the Support Local brigade is salty of those who support bigger clubs and are simply jealous of the fact that their team cannot reach the final of the Checkatrade Trophy. Not all those who support local are irritating though, most of them are nice people who put in a lot of work and travel up and down the country to support their club. It’s the pricks that rarely ever go to games, NEVER go to away games and just watch their ‘local’ play but then log on to Twitter to scream at others that are extremely irritating.

Coming to the whole thought process behind the Support Local madness. Basically, many out there still think that simply every foreigner that supports a big club doesn’t really like football, doesn’t know anything about it but just says he’s a fan. A lot of the HARD BREXIT and Support Local brigade are the same people too, and it’s understandable because to actually be a part of them both requires an extreme lack of general intelligence, a cuntish personality and a severe case of childishness.


Talking about Scottish football twitter. For some reason, a lot of them think their league is really good, and their quality of football is as good as the top European leagues and Celtic and Rangers are the best fucking clubs ever. It is coincidentally this, ignorant bunch that are often found to be leading the Support Local charge. Tweet out saying that you think the Scottish League is a bit shit and you’ll get one of three replies:

1. Fucking mon then ya cunt
2. Says someone who watches Cricket and likes the Russian League JJAJAJDSAHDSAJHJSAKHFJKSAHAHAHAHAHAHHAH
3. Do ya actually fackin support real madrid from india ye wee cunt? Course you do.

None of the three responses make any sense but all three are equally reflective of the user and their wits. Again, not every Scottish football fan is a dimwit, but too many of them are, especially on football twitter.

Alright mate, support your local and do it with pride. Just don’t be an absolute cunt for no reason to those who don’t have the chance to support a local team due to a variety of reasons or simply don’t want to. Football isn’t a game for only those who go to the ground five minutes away and consider only those who love their local team to be fans. If those are the ‘ethics’ and ‘spirit of football’ that is promoted, fuck the ethics and fuck the spirit of football. Support who you want, and do it with pride.

That brings us to the end of this week’s tale from Twitter. Hopefully, my monologue at the end didn’t make you think you were reading ‘History’s Greatest Speeches.’ Anyway, I’ll be back next week and till then, catch me on Twitter being told to support local and ‘shut the fuck up Indian’ by people.