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The transfer window. This one was always coming. Today we are inducting arguably my least favourite part of football into room 433. Yes the transfer window is being locked away in room 433 and for those of you who enjoy the rumour and innuendo of the window prepared to be shown why the transfer window is actually unbearable and a massive distraction from the things that are actually important in football – like matches.

Now I am not some sort of football idealist who believes we should do away with the transfer window and only play academy kids. I’m not that naïve and I do not even dislike the idea of a designated period where players transfer between clubs. Really what infuriates me is all the nonsense that surrounds the transfer window.

The first object of my ire is Twitter rumours. I can go on Twitter right now and make up some random transfer rumour and guaranteed at least one person will believe it. I’m an avid user of Twitter, but the amount of utter rubbish on the site about players moving to clubs is ridiculous. Certain elements of the media as well seem to have a propensity to make up rumours just for the sake of it.

My next problem with the window is that fees for players are now effectively so large they have become pretty meaningless. I mean what is the difference between a £40 million player and a £60 million player? I’m not really sure and most of the time when a deal is completed it gets the ‘undisclosed fee’ treatment anyway so it feels as though clubs will happily throw large sums away on pretty much anybody.

Then we circle back to Twitter and the incredibly infuriating ‘announce so and so’ phase. It seems that in some people’s mind that the solution to solve all their clubs problems is just to make any kind of signing, which of course just is not true. Although if Boro do want to sign a left winger that would be fab.

Players conduct during transfer windows is also something that has continually bugged me. The whole I’m angling for a move so I’m not turning up to training anymore is absolutely ludicrous considering these players are paid thousands per week. The fake injury is a common practice too as clubs announce prospective want-away players are injured even though we know why they are not playing.

Then there are football agents.  If you were offered any job in the world I would seriously consider becoming a football agent because the amount of money these people make is insane. Clubs have to pay an absolutely gargantuan amount in agent fees, which to me represents far more than an agent’s job is actually worth.

So In summary I hate agents, transfer fees, footballers and fans, so you can see I am a super positive person. I’m just jaded by the whole transfer window shenanigans so it, without a shadow of doubt, deserves its place in Room 433. On the plus side, the transfer window closes earlier this year so there is less nonsense to deal with.