Jose Mourinho Room 443 Manchester United Premier League Manager

Welcome back to Room 433 one and all as we attempt to lock away the absolute worst things in football, so they never, ever see the light of day again. Last week, we locked away FIFA, the organisation. But this week, it’s the turn of FIFA, the game. Well, at least a certain aspect of it.

Indeed, it’s a two-in-one edition of Room 433 this week as we lock away those people foolish enough to decide how good a player is purely based on a YouTube compilation, or even worse: due to their stats on the FIFA video game.

We will focus on those pesky YouTube highlight compilations first and we’ve all seen them. Irritating dance music? Check. Made on Windows Movie Maker? Check. Highlights of how good they were in the Finnish second division? Check. Any player can look a world beater in their highlights compilation, I mean it’s literally called a highlights compilation. The clue is sort of in the name.

Viktor Fischer, who signed for Middlesbrough in 2016: I distinctly remember looking like a cracking signing based on his YouTube highlights. However, in real life, he was absolutely anonymous for most of the season and Boro got relegated. So beware of these YouTube highlights, they are not always true.

Judging players on their FIFA stats is something that is even worse, though. At least YouTube takes place in real life while FIFA takes place very much in the virtual world. But hey, we should totally sign that player because he has 95 pace, right? Well, no. In fact, FIFA as a game is a bit of a rip off if we’re being completely honest with ourselves.

Ultimate Team is an absolute money pit and the fact that I am also completely terrible at it means one of my biggest regrets in life is shelling out £40 on FIFA 18. Just do not judge players on FIFA stats it really is very simple.

Basically, the reason that clubs employ large scouting networks is that it takes a while to judge whether a player is good enough for a particular club so lets cut out the incessant reliance on YouTube highlights or even the notion that FIFA stats are even remotely relevant. So, with that all being said, these erroneous methods of judging footballers are being inducted into Room 433. And yes, before you ask, I am still bitter about spending £40 18 months ago.