Imagine a world without football? I know, it’s scary. But what’s even scarier is that the Premier League stars we know and love would all be searching for jobs like you and me. No scouts, youth academies or agents, just a good ole’ CV. In this column, we provide insight into what those job applications would actually look like. This is ‘Premier League CVs’.
I’m a small, but feisty American. I’m one of the best at what I do, but you haven’t seen anything yet. My youth, prosperity, and freedom mirror that of my homeland, the United States of America. My talents in technology will awe you. Did I mention my freedom? I’m free, baby!!
Technische Universitat Dortmund
2015 – 2016
My eventual employers, Die Schwarzgelben Technology, paid for me to attend a local university to learn the tools of the German trade. My time at Technische Universitat Dortmund prepared me for my eventual breakthrough into the German tech industry.
Die Schwarzgelben Technology, Dortmund
(2016 – 2019)
- Joined the German technology superpower to help fuel their tech design initiatives.
- Worked alongside some huge names in Germany’s technology sector, learning from their wise words of wisdom.
Role currently unknown
Blue True Tech, London
(2019 – Present)
- Have just started with Blue True, but will likely be told to find a summer internship elsewhere.
- Born in the US of A, baby!
- Lucien Favre
- Abe Lincoln
- Tom Jefferson
- Ted Roosevelt
To whom it may concern,
I moved to Dutchland back in 2015. One of Europe’s top tech startups wanted me to join their ranks but insisted I continue my education before starting fulltime employment. But I was already good enough, even by German standards, and I started a year later.
I made an instant impact. During my first few days, I developed new software and assisted senior employees with their projects. I stepped back and acted more conservatively over the next year. I helped out where possible but knew there was still much to learn before I could become a meaningful member of the Die Schwarzgelben team.
Over the next few years, I became the youngest employee in Die Schwarzgelben history to represent them at the European Technology Awards. I continued making small impacts to Die Schwarzgelben’s mission, and by doing so, captured the attention of Europe’s top tech companies. To them, an America tech expert seemed exotic. Perhaps they hoped I’d become the next Steve Jobs.
Recently, London tech company Blue True Tech offered me a job. I couldn’t refuse the offer and I signed my contract. Blue Truth has graciously allowed me to finish my ongoing projects at Die Schwarzgelben before moving.
Sadly, Blue True hasn’t given me any indication of what role I’ll play when I eventually get there. Given their history with young employees, I fear I’ll be shipped off to intern somewhere else for a few years. I desperately hope not, but one must always be prepared.
If you’re looking for a flashy Yank with a passion for technology, innovation, and freedom, please consider me for an internship at your company. If you wish to meet and discuss my candidacy, please contact me at email@example.com to set up an interview.