92nd Minute News

Marouane Fellaini has finally spoken publicly about his ongoing transfer negotiations during an interview with Sport, and the Belgian didn’t hold any punches. The Manchester United midfielder has never shied away from controversy in the past. His on the field antics include elbows to the throat and head, studs up challenges, stamping on opponents and a variety of headbutts. Marouane is the kind of player you’d want in your Sunday League team if there was going to be a parking lot brawl afterwards.

During the interview, Fellaini called out Jamie Carragher for spitting on a fan during his commute home.

“How can someone like Jamie Carragher dare to question me?” said Fellaini, “The guy spat from his car on a girl after a Manchester-Liverpool match.”

It’s nice to see the afro man finally take the high ground. The dispute between him and Carragher has been ongoing, but the ex-Everton player claims the criticisms he receives only fuels his desire to improve. On his recent contract talks, he had this to say:

“The club did not renew my contract last year. Now I am in a strong position, especially since Mourinho has stated that he wants to keep me.”

That is the kind of attitude and burning desire to play for the team that Manchester United fans will be wanting to hear. Marouane’s biggest concern was the clubs lack of enthusiasm over renewing his contract during the 2016/17 season.

“Afterwards I became important for the team. A good player costs at least 50 million euros. The club knows that they went wrong there.”

It appears Ibrahimovic’s presence last season encouraged Fellaini to inflate his self-worth. The Belgian was brought to the club for an astonishing £27.5 million. Now, Transfermarkt values him at only £10.8 million.

We contacted the big man himself to clear this whole mess up, and well, we weren’t disappointed. Here’s his valuation:

Transfer cost – £10.8 million

This one is pretty cut and dry. Fellaini couldn’t argue with Transfermarkt’s price point, and he was willing to stick with it. At £10.8 million, Fellaini is barely worth more than Alex Pritchard.

Shirt sales – £1,823.75

This Christmas, Marouane bought everyone on the first team a Fellaini jersey. He just never stops giving. At £72.95 a shirt, it all adds up, but apparently those were the only 25 Fellaini jerseys sold all season.

GQ cover shoot – £22,350,000.00

Hey, we don’t make the numbers, we just report them. Everyone remembers that photoshoot Fellaini did for GQ? You know, the one where he looks like Mickey Mouse. Well, he insists the cover shot brought money into the club, and a lot of it too. If this is true, his side career as a model might have almost paid off his transfer cost.

Swear jar – £3,507,235.00

Upon his arrival at the club, Mourinho implemented fines to keep his players in check, including a swear jar. Marouane claims to have a major potty mouth and has lost millions over it. One curse word is only worth £50 as well, so we’ll let you do the math on that one.

Hairstyling – £5,445,108.75

Many people don’t know this, but Fellaini is a hairstylist on the side. All of the money he earns from his venture is used to purchase stocks in the club. Right now, the Belgian is heavily invested, which may explain his recent run of good form. Thinking back to the time he put his hair in cornrows, we urge you to consider sticking with your local barber.

Bake sales – £7,895,832.50

A little-known fact about Fellaini is that he loves to bake. Each day after training he sells his baked goods and hands over the profits to the Manchester United Foundation. It’s his way of giving back. When we contacted a member of the club they said the cupcakes were always dry, but nobody had the heart to tell him. Bless his soul.

And there it is, £50 million. Say what you like about the man, but at least he knows his worth. While the numbers add up, we reckon Manchester United would be lucky to get more than they paid for him. Who knows whether Fellaini moves clubs after the World Cup this summer, but we do know the Premier League wouldn’t be the same without him.