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Here we go again. Manchester United manager, Jose Mourinho, has been slapped with yet another a fine. What did he do this time? Did he punch a ball boy? Did he kick a fan? Perhaps he yelled at a referee like Klopp? Oh no, wait, you don’t get fined for stuff like that. It must have been an act of extreme violence to top Klopp’s actions. Nope. He mouthed, yes mouthed, obscenities in a foreign language. Did he say it? Nope, he mouthed it.

According to the FA, Mourinho crossed the line with his figurative speech. On top of a monetary fine, the Manchester United boss could be forced to watch his side’s match against Chelsea from the Stanford Bridge stands. Jose Mourinho has until 6 PM BST, October 19, to respond to the charges. If he chooses not to, he will accept whatever punishment the FA throw his way.

But why is the FA pursuing this? Nobody noticed what he said (or didn’t say rather) until they looked into it. One can only assume there are more variables at play, and I love a good conspiracy theory. So, sit tight, buckle up, and enjoy the ride. We’re about to bust this case wide open.

The Press and The Pundits

First, we must consider what the media want. The obvious answer is viewership. And how do they get viewership? With breaking news and exciting stories. But stories about Klopp and Pep’s mishaps just doesn’t sell the same way that Jose Mourinho does. Jose Mourinho at a club like Manchester United? Well, that sells even better.

It’s the perfect storm. Hated, adored, but never ignored. The media’s devil himself at the helm of Manchester United. If Jose left Manchester United, the media’s poster boy would cease to exist. It’s in their best interest for him to stay in the Premier League, and if he stays at Manchester United it will suit them perfectly.

Even ex-United players are getting in on the action. People can’t keep Jose out of their mouths, because when they speak his name, ears perk up. Despite their constant criticism of the man, he is the best job security they could ask for.

The FA

But the FA have no interest in keeping Jose Mourinho at Manchester United, do they? Well actually, maybe they do. With Jose in charge, the FA have their scapegoat. If they need to make a point, Jose is their guy. While the world watches adoringly, the FA can sweep the misbehaviours of their favoured foreign managers under the rug by putting it all on Jose. If he gets sacked, the only other Portuguese manager is Nuno Espirito Santo, and we all love him. It would never work.

So, they force him to stay. By systematically handing out suspensions, Jose will be forced to keep his job so he can serve his time. That’s how it works, right? I’m not sure the exact rules, but there is probably some hidden subtext to his contract keeping him at the club in these scenarios. Okay, I’m stretching on this one, but you never know.

On top of that, the fines bring in money. Any slip-up and they’ll slap a fine down on Jose’s desk. Money, money, money.

Ed Woodward

The key man in this scenario is a certain Ed Woodward. Much like the FA, Ed needs a scapegoat of his own. Needless to say, the last few transfer windows haven’t gone Woodward’s way. He’s brought in some failures and missed out on some big signings. But as long as Mourinho’s in charge, Woodward escapes the blame. Well, for the most part. A few ‘woke’ fans know what’s going on.

If Woodward sacks Jose results aren’t guaranteed under new management. If the new manager fails, the finger will be pointed at Woodward. His failure to hire a decent manager will be more transparent as a ghost’s x-ray.

Let’s not forget the money. Jose sells Manchester United as well. One of the biggest names in football will certainly bring in some saucy sponsorship money. Would Woodward give that up? Never! After all, wasn’t he supposed to be sacked after Newcastle regardless? It was a rouse to cause some commotion. Wake up people!

On top of all that, Woodward handed Mourinho a contract extension for seemingly nothing last January. Coincidence? I think not!

Conclusion

This case has been busted open wider than a barn door during a hurricane. The media, FA and Ed Woodward are working together. They don’t want to push Jose out, they want to tie him down. Without him, they fail, and they know it. This the most controversial conspiracy in English Football since the 2013 match fixings. Maybe I am crazy, maybe I’m a fool, but what I do know is that wherever Jose Mourinho’s career takes him, controversies will follow.