Funny Football News Jose Mourinho Benjamin Mendy Liverpool

The more eagle-eyed of you will have noticed that today’s Super Six is a day late. The reason for this is that I was giving West Ham every opportunity to screw it up against Wimbledon last night so that they could fill the #1 slot. It turns out that they managed to sort themselves out against the League One minnows, even if there was a slight suggestion of diving.

So, no West Ham. But there are at least six other things to look forward to.

#1 Jose Mourinho

Oh, come on. I couldn’t leave him out, could I? Now there is no Arsene and no Moyseh, I need a target and Jose is very much sitting there with a big bullseye on that grumpy little face of his. As my cousin mentioned yesterday, he won three consecutive high jumps at the school sports day back in the 1970s and you don’t hear him banging on about it. Admittedly, I am not sure that is exactly the same, but I do take his point. We all know the Jose narrative, the Jose style of getting sacked and nobody will be surprised when it happens. And, once again, he will receive a marvellous pay off for being a complete arse.

#2 Benjamin Mendy

I seem to recall having a conversation with a Spanish coach a few years ago and he could not get his head around the fact that one of the first things English kids are taught, relentlessly, is how to take a throw-in properly. Whereas most continental kids are drilled on the proper basics like controlling the ball and kicking it properly, one of the first things in the English Dad’s coaching manual is how to throw a ball from behind your head with both feet on the floor. This is a lesson that Benjamin Mendy seems to have been able to swerve his entire life, as we saw against Wolves. Bravo, Benjamin. To be so consistently bad at something like that yet still be paid millions a year is quite inspiring.

#3 Liverpool

Well, we may as well hand the title over now, right? Three clean sheets in a row from King Kloppo’s charges and Mo Salah seems to be picking up where he left off having fully recovered from that career-threatening injury he had. They’ve bought well and it’s not even the new signings that are making it happen, really. It’s players like James Milner and Gigi who are determined not to give their shirts up easily. Rumours that there is an open-top bus celebration booked in for November have not been confirmed.

#4 Claude Puel

I think ‘whispering Claude’ made it very clear how he felt about returning to St Mary’s and winning again, didn’t he? I loved his celebration almost as much as the result. It’s hard to explain how much respect I lost for Southampton fans for moaning after he’d taken them to Wembley and basically getting him sacked. And now they have Mark Hughes. It’s funny how things turn out.

#5 Watford

Hang on, this is mad even by Watford standards at the start of the season. Not since the late, great Graham Taylor have Watford won three out of three at the start of a season. And they are doing it with the same coach they had last season and I get the feeling it might be the first time since the late, great Graham Taylor that they have done this too! Yes, we all know they will be tucked up in Premier League safety bed by Christmas morning and will phone in sick for the rest of the season, but fair play to Harry Hornet et al.

#6 VAR

You’re right, the Premier League definitely doesn’t need VAR.