LASESARRE, SPAIN - AUGUST 5: Puma Orbita, the official match ball of LaLiga in detail prior the pre-season friendly match between Athletic Club and Real Sociedad on August 5, 2022 at Lasesarre Stadium in Barakaldo, Spain. Noxthirdxpartyxsales PUBLICATIONxNOTxINxJPN 195228971

Wow, another week has passed and Matchday 4 of the Fantasy Football Failings is already in the rear-view mirror. I had a better week, surprisingly, but I am still more West Ham than Watford.

Shall we take a look?

Funny Football News Fantasy Football Tip Matchday 4

Hey, I have had worse weeks. But I think I wasted my triple captain on Sergio. Balls.

David de Gea, Manchester United: 6 points

I have a new theory about De Gea. As long as nobody shoots at him he is still a decent goalkeeper. I know, that sounds harsh. But isn’t the daft stat that in the last 15 shots or something, he has conceded 12 goals? Or have I just made that up? I don’t know, but either way De Gea got me a clean sheet at Burnley so I am happy.

Kyle Walker, Manchester City: 10 points

Yeah, anything Kieran Trippier can do and all that. If the net wasn’t in the way that ball would still be cutting grass now. What a sweet hit from Walker, love it.

Trent Alexander-Arnold, Liverpool: 2 points

Just the points for turning up this week for TAA. Still, it’s a long season and I cannot expect a clean sheet every week, especially if Alisson wants to do that in his own area.

Davinson Sanchez, Tottenham Hotspur: 1 point

Well, I didn’t see that coming. Watford coming back from behind to beat Spurs? Four from four for the Hornets? Pinch me, I am having a nightmare.

Issa Diop, West Ham United: 2 points

Why did I think it was a good idea to have a defender from the worst team in the league (so far) in my side? Ah, because Lascelles was playing against City and I didn’t think Fellaini would start for United. That’s why.

Sadio Mane, Liverpool: 10 points

A tidy early finish from Sadio, possibly my best player so far this season. More of that, please.

Kenedy, Newcastle United: 1 point

Hooked for being ineffective against Manchester City. He is likely to be shipped out by me over the international break.

Dele Alli, Tottenham Hotspur: 2 points

Come on Dele, man. It was Watford. You just let Will Hughes look like a better player than you. Sort it out.

Ruben Neves, Wolves: 3 points

A fine win for Wolves but not a great day for Ruben, really. I am considering swapping him out as well as he doesn’t seem to be doing enough high enough up the pitch to get points. Unless, of course, he gets a free-kick. Or shoots from miles out.

Harry Kane, Tottenham Hotspur: 2 points

Oh, September is the new August is it? Awesome.

Sergio Aguero, Manchester City: 16 points

No goals but an assist for Aguero and as I triple captained him I get some benefit I suppose. I still feel like I wasted it though, to be honest.

Total: 57 points

Considering the weekly average was 44 this suggests I am finally getting going this season! Don’t let the numbers fool you, I feel like I am under-performing still. That said, the only guy on the bench that would have made a small difference was Fellaini.

Funny Football News Fantasy Football Tip Matchday 4

Maybe the big mop will get in my team after the international break.

I am already thinking of binning Diop, Neves and Kenedy but god knows who I can bring in to replace them.

I’ll worry about that next week.

Actually, more realistically, I will forget I even said this and will have the same squad for matchday 5!