92nd Minute News

Earlier this week, Barcelona approached Manchester United in an attempt to procure the services of a certain Paul Labile Pogba. While the Frenchman has had a slow start at Old Trafford, there is no denying his unbelievable skill. His summer couldn’t have gone any better, as the midfielder helped lead his country to a World Cup gold medal. Surely the transfer fee for such a player would be astronomical, especially after leaving Juventus for just over €105million.

Astronomical? More like Astro-comical. The Catalonians only went and offered a measly €50million plus two out of favour players, Yerry Mina and Andre Gomes. It’s the kind of deal you make on FIFA Career Mode when your board has denied additional transfer funds on the last day of the transfer window. It’s not quite as bad as Arsene Wenger’s £40million plus £1 bid for Luis Suarez, but it’s still bad.

During a morning roundtable at Ronnie Dog Media headquarters, we put together a list of more effective bids Barcelona could make before the transfer window shuts.

€40million plus Paco Alcacer for Harry Kane

Look, we all know Harry Kane fits a move to Real Madrid perfectly, but hear us out. Spurs would love a nice bit of cash to splash out. Heck, they could even buy four Championship players with that money if they were frugal enough. That will make the board happy but adding Alcacer to the deal will make Pochettino’s mouth water. At 24-years-old, the Spanish forward is a whole year younger than Kane, which would bring additional youth into the Tottenham dressing room. Plus, if it doesn’t work out, Pochettino can link up with Harry in Barcelona in a year or two when he inevitably moves on.

Lionel Messi for the entire Chelsea first team

Getting rid of Messi isn’t ideal, but once you consider Hazard, Kante and company would be coming the other way, it’s not a bad option. What’s in it for Chelsea? Well, Lionel Messi for starters. I know what you’re all going to say. You can’t win the league with one player. Luckily for Sarri, Chelsea have 16 players on contracts outside of the first team and 24 others out on loan. If they don’t win the league in their first season, Messi will surely impart some knowledge on the youth. You can’t put a price on that.

Suarez in a straight swap deal with Roberto Firmino

This transfer all depends on the fine print. Barcelona lure interest from Liverpool by throwing out the name of an ex-Liverpool legend. Liverpool’s interest will be peaked, and they’ll finally cave into a swap deal for Roberto Firmino, who is excited to reignite his partnership with Philippe Coutinho. The paperwork is complete, and, as the pen is lifted from the paper, Barcelona drops the bomb. Luis Suarez? No, no, no. Denis Suarez. Liverpool scramble, trying to find any way out of this transfer loophole, but alas, hope is lost. Legalese has won Barcelona the transfer of the summer.

€50million plus Malcom and Arthur for Pogba

Okay, clearly Barcelona want Pogba, and clearly, they made the wrong bid. But perhaps the cash sum wasn’t the issue. Maybe, just maybe, it was the players involved. After the purchase of Fred from Shakhtar Donetsk, Manchester United have made it clear they are interested in Brazilian midfielders with one name. Just imagine a midfield of Fred, Arthur and Malcom. It sounds less like a Brazilian midfield, and more like the names of the blokes in a finance. Regardless of what I think, it would be an amazing marketing scheme, and we all know how Manchester United’s board likes a good marketing campaign. If the Red Devils don’t bite right away, Barcelona also have Rafinha in their back pocket as a bargaining chip.

Sergio Busquets for Joe Allen and Peter Crouch

Who wants to get rid of Sergio Busquets? Isn’t he one of the best holding midfielders in the world? Alright, I hear your concerns, but wait until you hear my rationale. Real Madrid has won the Champions League three times in the last three years. Do you know who scored the two winning goals this year? Gareth Bale. That’s what Barcelona have been missing; a gritty Welshman to dig in and win them games. Barcelona deserves another chance at its Mark Hughes dream. Let’s face it, with Stoke relegated from the Premier League, Joe Allen will be wasted in the Championship. He has been called the Welsh Xavi, so he’ll fit right in. Oh, and why Peter Crouch you ask? For banter, that’s why.

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You may laugh. You may even cry. But you can’t deny that these transfers are top quality. Don’t be surprised to see some of these rumours circulating after this article is published. You heard it here first, folks. Who knows. If Barcelona is crazy enough to offer what they did for Pogba, they could be crazy enough to try some of these too.