It’s that time of year folks – you know it as well as I do. Summer is still just about in the air and that smell you can smell is promise. And boy, there is lots of it.
The Fantasy Football lists are out and it is time for me to walk you through the squad that is destined for absolute failure in the 2017/18 season. I didn’t disgrace myself last season, hell, I actually finished the season which was rare. But I would like to do better this time around, except I won’t.
Hence the name of the series.
I’d call it something like “My Fantasy Football Finery” if I was good.
And I am not. I am rubbish. Yes, I feel the need to say that twice.
So, folks, allow me to present #FollowTheDogFC.
I mean, it’s not the worst team ever, is it?
Harry Kane and Sergio Aguero will continue to bang in goals aplenty, for sure. Admittedly, I might have to wait for September for Harry but hey, I am patient.
If I have Harry, I have to have Dele. It’s the law. KDB gets the obligatory Manchester City midfielder spot this season as I have moved on from David Silva.
Ruben Neves has to be worth a punt at £5m. He was the catalyst for Sporting Wolves FC getting promoted and now he is going to have better players around him. I back him.
Kenedy was a great signing for Newcastle United in January and I have given him precisely 120 minutes of the new season to prove to me he can do it again.
Fellaini, well he is bound to start the first couple of games as he is a robot that will just be ready for action where United’s other World Cup stars will still be on the beach. Maybe.
It’s the defence I have found really, really tough. Kyle Walker will be OK for City. Trent A-A needs to deliver again so he is a bit of a wildcard. I really like Davinson Sanchez so he goes straight in. But it doesn’t fill my heart with joy.
Neither does buying the most expensive goalkeeper, either.
On the bench, I have Newcastle goal-machine (well, we can dream) Joselu. And I have two defenders – Issa Diop of West Ham, in case he turns out to be decent and West Ham learn to defend and Jamaal Lascelles who did well for me last season.
It might be an idea to look at who I didn’t select and why.
Romelu Lukaku – I just don’t trust him.
Raheem Sterling – too expensive.
Mohamed Salah – the whole world bought him, I am looking for an edge.
David Silva – I reckon he is about to be phased out.
Sadio Mane – overpriced.
Shaqiri – nearly, but a bit too expensive.
Danny Ings – depends if he goes to Palace.
Luka Luka the Palace Luka – £6.5m? No, I preferred him at £5m last season.
Any Chelsea defenders – who knows what Sarri brings.
Any Manchester United defenders – I can’t afford De Gea and them.
I think that’s it – let the games commence.
What, we have to wait another week?