Team of the Weekend

Hello and welcome to the final Fantasy Football preview of the season. It’s been an incredible week for the Premier League. Four European finalists is impressive and rounds off a season in which new standards have been set. It is very fitting that the only thing left to play for on the final day is the league title. We’ll come on to that in a moment, but first, what happened last week?

My score of 64 was ahead of the average of 48 and was enough for a green arrow. That took us to 2,686th in the overall rankings, a great time for a season high. We’ve just got to go one more week without screwing it up. How will we do that?

Realistically, 18 of the 20 teams could be on the beach this week. Of course professional pride and a desire to better themselves or some bollocks will prevent that but it’s very hard to definitely say who will do well this week. If I were a betting man, I’d bet on a lot of goals to happen. The last day is always a bit of a carnival and without basically nothing on the line in eight of the games, we live in hope of something like a goalkeeper scoring a free kick to round off a ridiculous week. Anyway, ever the professional, let’s see what’s on offer.

The dilemma

Liverpool vs Wolves is an attractive match. Wolves have been excellent against the top six whilst Liverpool need to win to keep alive their hopes of winning the league. It still seems mad that Liverpool have lost ONE GAME all season and will likely finish second. Fortunately for them, they made the Champions League final in midweek and as far as consolation prizes go, you can shove your Wipeout paperweight up your arse. Andy Robertson looks likely to miss out through injury but Mo Salah should be back to try and clinch the golden boot. As usual, Salah and Mane are probably your go-to guys here but maybe spare a thought for £5m Divock Origi. He’s had worse weeks.

Man City have moved from juggernaut to efficient train. Obviously not a British train. Two 1-0 wins over Burnley and Leicester have been gritty rather than flamboyant. It does mean you should really have a Man City defender for their trip to Brighton. Aymeric Laporte has been outstanding recently and looks a good replacement for the injured Robertson. The other option is of course to do a straight swap for Trent Alexander-Arnold. As for attacking outlets, returns haven’t been as brutal as they once were but it’s usually a safe bet that Aguero, Sterling or Bernardo will be out to get you and I think we all expect they will get the win on Sunday.

Technically, Arsenal could trump Spurs and get fourth place. There’d need to be an eight-goal swing for that to happen. Arsenal would need to win at Burnley by a decent margin and Spurs would need to crumble at home to Everton. It’s not going to happen. The Europa League final is not until the end of May so there’s little need to rest players. Sean Dyche doesn’t strike me as the type of man who appreciates a beach holiday though so I expect his players will be nuisances to the very last minute. I don’t know what sort of team Emery will pick at the best of times so don’t ask for any pointers here.

Spurs may well be drained emotionally and physically after Wednesday and I wouldn’t be shocked if they didn’t beat Everton. Son is banned so make sure you sell him but frankly if I was Pochettino I’d be playing Oliver Skipp and 10 others. Jan Vertonghen appeared injured in pictures after the win over Ajax but I suspect a few have knocks. You’d be gutted to get injured in a fairly meaningless game and miss the Champions League final. Maybe that’s just my mentality…

Chelsea have a top-four spot sewn up and played 120 minutes on Thursday night. I expect Maurizio Sarri will rotate but I’ve found him difficult to read all season. They’re away to Leicester anyway which looks like a Jamie Vardy party written all over it.

That leaves Manchester United. They’ll beat Cardiff but good grief, what a mess. Maybe some farewell goals for Paul Pogba? This is a team that failed to beat Huddersfield last week. You can’t rely on that.

Anybody not on the beach?

No. I’m not even going to make suggestions. Southampton are at home to Huddersfield but if you want to put Shane Long in your team you are a better person than I am.

Captain

I’d say Sergio Aguero for this week. He has form in these last day matters but as I said earlier in the article, goals have been at a premium in the last two games and if it stays 0-0 for a while it might be nervy. Raheem Sterling or Bernardo Silva are equally sound choices. Salah is always an option if you prefer to captain a Liverpool player but Wolves’ record is very good in these games and I think any win will be narrow – unless Wolves rotate their whole team as they did on the last day of the Championship season.

My team

Foster, Digne, Robertson*, Wan-Bissaka, Salah, Mane, Sterling, Bernardo, Jota, Rondon, Wilson. Subs: Fabianski, Gray, Doherty, Duffy.

My one transfer will probably be Aymeric Laporte for Andy Robertson. I’m not feeling very adventurous.

The deadline this week is Sunday, May 12th at 2 pm. An extra 24 hours to dwell on matters for one last time. Thanks for your company throughout the season – good luck and may all your arrows be green.