And with that, the 2017/18 season is finished. Gone. Done. A bit like Antonio Conte, Arsene Wenger, Sam Allardyce, Claude Puel, David Moyes and, maybe, Mark Hughes.
What did the final day of the season bring us other than zero drama or late twists thanks to Chelsea’s complete and utter no-show?
Here are six of the, hmmm, best.
#1 Chelsea
Clearly the Chelsea boys fancy a bit of Europa League action next season, then? Why would you put so much effort in to getting the door slightly ajar only to completely down tools when an early goal might have put a little bit of pressure on Liverpool? It’s been clear Conte has wanted out for months, maybe even over a year, but the professional pride of those players is a curious thing. Maybe, just maybe they do count winning the FA Cup as a bigger prize than finishing 4th? It’s almost like it is the old days.
#2 Erik Lamela
You have to admire anyone that breaks club protocol. Yes, I know the Premier League gave the goal to Christian Fuchs, but it was an Erik Lamela hat-trick really and a hat-trick that deprived Harry Kane of a much-needed treble that would have made his Mo Salah chase a little more interesting. I thought the rules were that you have to give to Kane in the box?
#3 Arsene Wenger
He has looked about 10 years younger since he announced he was going, doesn’t he? And fair play to him too, I reckon he has pretty much finished Arsenal FanTV overnight. That might be his real legacy.
#4 Sam Allardyce
Big Sam is still muttering “but I have a contract” under his breath as it becomes more and more clear he is to be given the summer boot. He could have been leading England in Russia had he not been such a tit. Instead, he has managed to become as loved at Everton as Jurgen Klopp, and that takes some doing.
#5 Those other managers
There’s quite a long list here, as it goes. Some other managers, those ones that don’t fill our TV screens daily, have done some sterling work this season. They don’t have the big bucks to spend, they are not trying to balance the Champions League with the daily grind. Not all heroes wear top-four capes, you know? Step forward Chris Hughton, Roy Hogdson, Eddie Howe, David Wagner, Rafa Benitez and Sean Dyche. I think we can all agree they have each overachieved this season.
#6 Gareth Southgate
This is looking worryingly like a drama-free international tournament. That doesn’t mean England will pull up any trees, oh no, but Southgate is going about his business quietly and effectively. Personally, I preferred a 30-man squad to be trimmed down after the final friendly just in case we ever got another Gazza in La Manga incident but it does make sense not to have all that tension around the place. I’m not so sure about just one friendly though, but Gareth seems to know what he is doing. If he leaves at Jonjo Shelvey, he has my vote.
